It was Mrs. Campbell, for instance, who, on a celebrated occasion, threw her companion into a flurry by describing her recent marriage as “the deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-longue.”

At 83, George Bernard Shaw’s mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else’s.

One listens to one’s lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated.

The two oldest professions in the world – ruined by amateurs.

There’s nothing wrong with Oscar Levant – nothing a miracle won’t cure.

Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else’s dirty water.

A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn’t go.

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.

I’m tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn’t work. Of course it doesn’t work. We are supposed to work it.

There is no such thing in anyone’s life as an unimportant day.